An Opinionated Guide
Melbourne is situated on Port Phillip Bay, but it isn’t a beach town. Putting aside the CBD, locals split the greater area into “North of the Yarra” and “South of the Yarra” — the Yarra being the slightly brown river that bisects the metropolitan area.
The best way to get around is public transport; a Metcard will work on trains, trams and busses. A full-fare zone 1 10 x 2 hour card will meet most needs, and can be purchased at convenience stores.
If you choose to rent a car, be aware that Australia drives on the left side of the road, and Melbourne’s CBD is notorious for its confusing hook turns. If you’re driving (or just staying for a while), a Melways can’t be beat. Street-directory.com.au and Google Maps are also good for online mapping.
The CBD is a rectangular grid of streets, bordered on the south by the Yarra river. It’s very walkable, and trams travel on most major streets. A free City Circle tram — which has some of the only older-style trams still in service — runs around the periphery.
Flinders Street, the southernmost on the (roughly) East-West axis, has many of Melbourne’s defining attractions clustered about its centre, including Flinders Street Station and Federation Square.
Flinders Lane is the next East-West street after Flinders Street, and was once home to Melbourne’s fashion industry. It now has a number of apartments, cafés and boutiques, especially in the block between Swanston and Elizabeth Streets.
Collins Street is the hub of Melbourne’s finance and industrial offices; the upper end is often called the “Paris end,” for some reason.
Little Collins Street, the next along, has a number of fantastic shopping arcades, including the Block Arcade, Royal Arcade, and Presgrave Arcade, all between Swanston and Elizabeth Streets. There are also a number of men’s clothing boutiques further up between Swanston and Russell Streets.
Bourke Street is the home of Melbourne’s large department stores, Myer and David Jones. It also features the newly developed GPO, full of shops and apartments instead of mailboxes. Hmm.
One further, Little Bourke Street is home to Melbourne’s Chinatown, at least above Swanston street.
Lonsdale Street holds the brand new QV precinct which is worth a look, and Melbourne Central, which is under redevelopment, and not.
Moving to the North-South axis, Spring Street, the easternmost, is home to Parliament as well as the Princess Theatre. When one is travelling on the East-West streets, this end of town is commonly referred to as “up”; e.g., “up Collins Street” means towards Parliament.
Swanston Street (also Swanston Walk) is a North-South street towards the centre; many if not most of the tram lines in Melbourne find themselves on Swanston street, and much of its length is blocked to traffic.
Continuing Southward, Swantston Street crosses Princes’ Bridge and becomes St. Kilda Road, Melbourne’s grand (and long) boulevard. Formerly home to a number of Victorian mansions, it now features somewhat less attractive office blocks and high rises, but still very nice trees. Just across the Yarra next to St. Kilda Road is Southgate — an arts and entertainment district — on the right, and a large area of parkland that includes the Royal Botanic Gardens on the left.
Finally, Elizabeth Street contains many of Melbourne’s book, camera and motorcycle shops, for some reason, as well as a number of Youth Hostels (a.k.a. Backpackers’). If you wonder North past La Trobe Street, you’ll hit the Queen Victoria Market, which is worth a look (and a bite).
Generally speaking, if you just want to wonder around the city, you’ll do best to stay between Flinders, Elizabeth, La Trobe and Exhibition streets; while there are interesting things outside these bounds, they’re not as dense.
One other thing to mention is the Docklands; avoid it. It’s a failed development project that the locals are still optimistic about, for some reason.
Fitzroy is an edgy, young suburb with lots of boutiques and cafes. The main drags are Smith Street and Brunswick Street, the latter being the main attraction.
Richmond has a lot of immigrants, including Greeks on Swan Street and Bridge Road, and Vietnamese on Victoria Street. The food is correspondingly good.
In Carlton, Lygon Street is the Italian immigrant neighborhood. There are some good restaurants here (see below), but it’s got quite touristy.
South Melbourne is a great little suburb, once you get past the Casino and related muck. Start on Clarendon Street at Coventry; a block to the West is South Melbourne Market, or you can walk South on Clarendon to find lots of great restaurants and pubs on it and in the surrounding blocks. At the far end is Albert Park Lake, with the Aquatic Centre and plenty of nice walks (as well as sailing).
South Yarra and Toorak are inner Melbourne’s upscale neighborhoods, with Toorak Road as the East-West axis, and Chapel Street as the longer North-South backbone. There are tons of boutiques and cafés here, but they tend to be a bit commercial and, well, snooty. Much more interesting is the lower end of Chapel Street, which blends into Prahran — a funkier, edgier and much more interesting neighborhood. Greville Street is still worth a detour.
Further South is St Kilda. Once Melbourne’s seaside beach bum / artist hideaway, it’s been thoroughly invaded by yuppies, with corresponding price increases. That’s not to say it isn’t still fun; Acland Street is a good bet, and you can always stop by the Espy and throw down a few while you watch the sunset.
There's lots going on in Melbourne and surrounds; below is a list of common destinations. For more information, see Visit Victoria, the Victorian Government's official effort.
MCG — Stadium for Cricket, Australian Rules Football.Melbourne is known for being a foodie town; it’s close to a lot of fresh food producers, has a large sprinkling of European and Asian immigrants, and a number of daring chefs. I’ve come up with a list of the good (and bad) restaurants that I know of; there are plenty more. Try looking in the excellent Mietta’s Best Australian Restaurants; it hasn’t been updated since Mietta died in 2002, but it’s still the best place to start.
Another popular option is The Age Good Food Guide; you can pick it up at most newsstands.
Australians use the word tea to cover a lot of gastronomical ground; it can refer to the evening meal (as in, “come along to tea, love”), it is — of course — a drink to be consumed in large quantities, and it’s also a kind of between-meals ritual, known as morning tea or afternoon tea, as the time dictates.
This latter sense of the word has several functions; it encourages social interaction, is a basis of tradition in the workplace, and gives the average aussie an excuse to avoid work. More relevantly, though, it’s a reason to eat a lot of food that’s not so good for you, but very tasty.
Typically, this might include Lamingtons (slightly stale cake dipped in chocolate, perhaps with a raspberry jam filling; mmmmmmmmmm) or Pavlova (a strange, pie-like merengue confection from New Zealand), scones (which Americans call biscuits) with cream, and biscuits (which Americans call cookies). Make sure you try a Tim-Tam or three (ask someone to show you how to shoddy port through one).
Another note for the Americans: cream is not put in coffee; that’s called “milk.” Cream — especially “double cream,” “triple cream” or “devonshire cream” — is something that will cause your cardiologist to put a restraining order on you. It works very nicely on top of a scone (not biscuit; confused yet?) with some jam.
Coffee is a newer, but equally beloved institution. Melbourne had a large influx of Greek and Italian immigrants in the 1950s, and as a result you’re able to get a very good cup of coffee for very little money on almost every street corner. Starbucks is present, unfortunately, but they’re not winning.
Besides the espresso drinks you’re used to (e.g., cappuccino, café latte, macchiato), Australians have a shorthand for a few;
Note that many Melbournians are self-professed coffee nuts, and will go on forever (“bore for Australia” in local terms) about the right crema, the benefits of different brands of beans, etc. You’ve been warned.
They’re also pretty serious about chocolate; there are a couple of chocolate tours you can take if you share that obsession. Even if you don’t, make sure you stop by Haigh’s before you go home and get some chocolate frogs.
Another antipodean specialty is the meat pie. Meat pies — small pastry crusts filled with some kind of meat, usually beef, and maybe vegetables — can be very tasty and filling. However, you need a good one; if someone offers you a meat pie that was recently in a freezer, politely refuse and find a local bakery or specialty shop. Another very, very important rule is to never, NEVER attempt to eat a meat pie floater, no matter how much you’ve had to drink. That’s what they do in Adelaide, and the results speak for themselves.
Kangaroo meat is tender but gamey; personally, I wouldn’t go out of my way, but if you like new things… Apparently it’s best cooked rare.
Finally, no discussion of local cuisine would be complete without a discussion of fish and chips. Not to be confused with the British version, a proper Australian fish-and-chips will be served in newspaper or perhaps brown paper, in a small shop owned and run by Greeks (although examples of decent Vietnamese-run shops can be found). My favourite is Clarendon Street Fish and Chippers. Go.
Drinking is another matter. While Australians are serious — very serious — about beer, the microbrew / craft beer phenomenon is much younger than in other countries. That isn’t to say you can’t get good beer; try a Cooper’s (the sparkling ale, a.k.a. ‘red’ is a personal favourite) and newer local beers like Mountain Goat, who now have a bar in their brewery, to cut out the middle man. If you’d rather not, Melbourne has plenty of pubs. I won’t even attempt to list good pubs here (except for the Belgian Beer Cafe); they change hands too quickly, but not to worry, have a look online, or just ask a local.
Please note; Australians don’t really drink Foster’s. If you buy someone one, they’ll think you’re either a) a tourist b) stupid or c) offensive. These possibilities are not mutually exclusive.
What’s left? Wine. Australia is one of the world’s largest exporters of wine, but the secret is that, much like the Canadians with beer, they keep the good stuff to themselves. Good places to dip your toes in include Punch Lane Wine Bar, Langtons (but bring your wallet), the Melbourne Wine Room and liquor stores (a.k.a. bottle shops) like Nick’s Wine Merchants (Swanston Street), Vintage Cellars (Little Bourke Street), or if you want the full experience, visit one of Dan Murphy’s cavernous supermarket-style stores.
If you’re looking for Italian food, the traditional place to go is Lygon Street, just north of the CBD. If you go, make sure you have a destination in mind; many of the restaurants are tourist traps. That said, there are some gems, like Tiamo. Whatever you do, make sure you stop by Brunetti’s for coffee and cake afterwards.
The other option for Italian is to stay in the CBD; there are a number of excellent, higher-end Italian restaurants clustered roughly around Collins Street, between Russell and Swanston Streets. For example, Italy I has heavenly gnocchi, while Bistrot D’Orsay does a solid meal, followed by the best lemon tart in town. Other options in the CBD include the Waiters’ Restaurant, where you get extremely stodgy, but comforting, Italian food (N.B.; this restaurant has no sign). A local may try to talk you into going to Pellegrini’s; don’t go — they’re just being nostalgic for something you won’t understand (and the coffee tastes like dirt, the food is worse).
Chinese food in Melbourne is straightforward; go to Chinatown, pick a restaurant, and eat. While you’re there, make sure to go to the Supper Inn and try the lemon chicken; it’s a fantastic experience masquerading as a cheap hole in the wall, hidden up a set of rickety stairs. The more adventurous might try one of the many asian food courts in the CBD, such as Ong International Food Court.
On the other end of the scale is Flower Drum, often called one of the best chinese restaurants in the world. I haven’t been there, so you’ll have to verify that for yourself. Madam Fang is another excellent choice here.
Also hidden in the upper (towards Parliament) end of Little Bourke Street are a number of good Malaysian restaurants. The Golden Orchids is a favourite.
For Vietnamese, you have to go a bit further; take a number 109 tram up Collins Street (towards Parliament) and stay on it until you get onto Victoria Parade; once you pass Hoddle Street and under the train tracks, you’re in Abbotsford, and should have no trouble finding something tasty.
Japanese food, especially sushi, is ubiquitous in Australia. I don’t have any specific recommendations that are easy to get to; just ask around. Pretty much the same goes for Indian; the best places are small, family-run holes in the wall with a Tandoori oven.
If, for some reason, you want to see parts of Australia other than Melbourne, there’s plenty to do. You generally don’t want to drive between cities in Australia; for example, it’s about 12 hours from Melbourne to Sydney (the roads aren’t that great, to American standards). Rail isn’t that great either (although the Indian Pacific is supposed to be fun). Because of competition between low-cost airlines, buying a ticket locally is a good bet.
If you want to get out of the city, don’t go see the penguins; seriously.
Healesville Sanctuary contains all of the Australian wildlife that most people can take; I think they let you pat koalas, etc. If you don’t want to go that far, the Melbourne Zoo is quite good.
A long daytrip (or a nice overnight one) will get you to the Twelve Apostles on the Great Ocean Road, which are quite dramatic, and sort of like California’s Rt. 1 in Australia; there are a lot of nice little seaside towns between there and Port Phillip Bay (which Melbourne sits on).
Another popular destination is Daylesford and Hepburn Springs, a pair of small spa towns to the northwest of Melbourne.
If you fancy some wine and/or cheese, Milawa is a great little bush town that is home to Brown Brothers — makers of a really nice tawny port — and the Milawa Cheese Company, purveyors of an exceptional ashed goat’s cheese, among others.
Another option is to leave the driving to someone else, so you can concentrate on wine tasting.
There are three ways to get to tassie; 1) Ferry to Devonport 2) Plane to Launceston 3) Plane to Hobart. Bass Straight is one of the most wicked stretches of water in the world, so I wouldn’t reccommend the ferry if you’re seasick; IIRC it takes about 10 hours, but is fun if you like boats.
The main attractions in Tasmania are Hobart and nature. Hobart is a quaint, friendly little town that’s stuck about twenty years back. Salamanca Place is the cultural centre of town, and a good place to start.
Tasmania is a beautiful, somewhat rugged island that can be circumnavigated in about three days at a comfortable pace. The East side is flat, has a lot of farming, small villages and seaside towns; oyster farming is common. The West side of the island is mountainous and mostly untamed; the only real town is Queenstown, a hell-hole mining town where they seem proud of the devestation they’ve created. Besides Queenstown, however, western Tasmania has generally be extremely well-preserved, thanks to the efforts of environmentalists and the government. One good place to start is Cradle Mountain Lodge; I haven’t stayed there, but have been by it, and it looks quite nice. T&L recently had a nice write-up of other western Tasmanian options as well.
If you just want to see Hobart, it’s an hour’s flight from Melbourne and an overnight trip would give you a good taste; it would be best to be there on a Saturday for the market. No, the Tasmanian Devil isn’t what you think it is.
Brisbane has a beautiful, if somewhat quiet, downtown. The river and the botanical gardens are the main feature, which is why I’d recommend the Stamford Plaza. It’s very well-located, and breakfast on the terrace by the river is lovely. There are also good restaurants around the corner on the river walk. Overall, Brisbane is probably best as a night’s stopover on the way to the Reef.
Outside of Brisbane is a apparently (I haven’t been there, but have heard a lot about it) different story. Avoid the Gold Coast/Surfer’s Paradise; it’s sort of like a tacky New Jersey beach town, or Florida — lots of theme parks and seniors. You’ll want to be in Port Douglas/Cairns or the Whitsundays; lots of snorkeling, diving, sailing, etc. The Whitsundays are more civilized by reputation. It’s pretty popular to get some friends together, rent a sailboat for a few days or a week, and drift from island to island; they’ll stock you with food or you can go ashore, and if you don’t know how to sail, they’ll rent you a captain, or just tow you around when you want to move. the other approach is a luxury island retreats; some of the more well-known include Lizard Island, Dunk Island and Double Island.
If you want to get a bit more adventurous, there are a lot of tours, eco-tours, etc. available; apparently, the Daintree rainforest is beautiful, and you can arrange to ride through it on horseback and end up directly on the beach.
I haven’t been to Adelaide, but it’s well-known for a few things:
Seriously, if you’ve got limited time in Australia, only go to Adelaide if you want to do the wine tours; if you do, it’s a must-see.
As far as I’m aware, the only real reason to go to the Alice is to go to Uluru (a.k.a. Ayer’s Rock). I’ve never been there because I never felt that it was worth flying halfway across a continent to see a big rock, but that’s just me. Apparently, there’s really NOTHING else out there. It also tends to attract tourists like flies, and there are a *lot* of flies in the bush, in my experience. Caveat Emptor.
Sydney is the L.A. of Australia; flashy, vibrant, and a bit full of itself. The harbour is absolutely stunning; make sure you take advantage of both the ferries (green and yellow; they’re public transport, so they come often, go everywhere and are cheap) and the water taxis (more expensive, but they go more places, and the drivers have good local knowledge). The view is also good from most tower hotels in North Sydney; make sure to book a water-view room on a high floor.
The focal point of Sydney is Circular Quay; most ferries and cruise ships leave from there, and it’s bordered by the Rocks (a touristy/historic neighborhood with many high-end restaurants) and the Opera House. There are also a good number of restaurants along the promenade next to the Opera House, but a good one is at the back of Circular Quay — Cafe Sydney in the Customs House. The views of the harbour are unmatched, the ambiance is fantastic, and the food usually lives up to the location. I’d recommend going in the evening. A well-known (probably too mucch so)restaurant is Rockpool, in The Rocks; make sure you have reservations. A more interesting entrant is Tetsuya’s, called one of the ten best restaurants in the world, by some.
There are two main beaches nearby; Bondi and Manly. There’s a high-speed ferry to Manly; not sure about Bondi. Bondi is the more famous; it’s basically the centre of Australian surf culture (such as it is). Both have good seafood and views.
We like to go to antique markets and flea markets in Sydney; there are plenty in Balmain (take a ferry; it’s very pretty) and Paddington, one of Sydney’s hipper neighborhoods; start on Oxford Street. King’s Cross is the centre of bohemian sydney; it’s also the red light district, IIRC. Darling Harbour is the new, upscale, tourist/convention-centred development; it’s apprently quite nice for clubbing, etc., but I’ve never been there.
If you’re feeling daring, you can arrange to climb the Harbour Bridge.
A few hours outside of Sydney, the Blue Mountains are reputed to be beautiful (I haven’t been there, but everyone says I need to go).
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Revision: October 1, 2006
